We do not know do we?

i am stressed out this week because why?my proff will be coming to visit me on this coming wednesday and as a student under his care,i was asked to give presentation about my thesis in the company.ok,i have to make a few slide show and talk.yes?what a big deal, yes?...NO,it will be less frightening if i should talk in front of matthias and proff,but somehow which i dont know how,all the member of my abteilung will come and see me presenting my thesis which is not due until ende august..apakah?and when abg kenyit mata came to me to see how i progress he told me this and that and it helps me a lot and at the same time freaking me out.i've submitted the presentation to matthias on friday and he also want to see my writing thesis on monday.so,people..don't ask me why am i invisible and like so busy..i am freaking out...actually!
it is one thing to give a presentation and it is onother whole thing to give a presentation to many person who work with what i'm doing right now for 5 years...you know what i'm saying??they know the navier stokes equation by heart...you know what i'm saying??

jumping to another less important and more confusing topic...i just don't know what to do anymore.i don't like to be in the middle of something.love can grow after marriage but guilt can not be erased easily.if you are in relationship,you will be doing dosa and you will feel guilty for it..that is why i dont like to be in a relationship.i prefer distance relationship,but how many people can stand distance relationship??that is why i want my relationship without marriage to be short..we meet,we know each other for 2-3 months,and we get marry.perfect!but..as i did discuss this with some people,they say no..that is not how it should work.you will not know the truth about a person in 2-3 months..yes,i agree..BUT..if i extend the get to know session more than 5 months,i will end up breaking up with that person..if i don't see any future with my partner , it is better to be alone.but now,there is this one person which match my need perfectly..he knows that marriage is important for me (eventhough it is not for him)..so he is not hesitating..he is serious about our relationship and i respect him for that..but it will be complicated..no one trust him even i also have doubts about him.....

so,i just now,berserah pada Allah.kerana Dia yang lebih tahu..and like kunut said,He will not uji me with something that i can't bare..that...i know for sure.

“Dan boleh jadi kamu benci kepada sesuatu padahal ia baik bagi kamu,
dan kamu mungkin sukakan sesuatu, sedangkan ia lebih buruk kepada kamu.
Dan hanya Allah yang mengetahui, sedangkan kamu tidak mengetahui”
(Surah al-Baqarah)-----my favourite ayat .. i always hold this ayat close to my heart.